I'm bored. The highlight of the last few days has been when my nose randomly sprung a leak this afternoon. I have thus far, been unsuccessful in convincing Stormy that it is moving time. I'm pretty sure if I don't get out of this stupid room soon I'm going to pull a Jack Torrence. Shame on any of you who don't get that joke. Shame! Alright, all kidding aside, I actually do need to go stretch my legs for a bit. Stormy is sleeping, but I'm sure she won't die if I run out for a whole ten minutes.

Swear to [insert applicable deity] if I come back to Stormy's corpse I will be quite put out.

Restless

It's this feeling that's been growing for a while now. I can feel it in my very bones now. Since I decided to huddle in a motel room with Stormy it's only gotten worse. Since the talk with Ryuu yesterday, well we've been concerned. For obvious reasons of course. I mean, well if you've seen her post I'm sure you know why. Leaving her on her own right now just seems like a bad idea.

Just need to get up and do something. Anything really. She's sleeping again. Honestly, how can anyone sleep so much? She reminds me of my mom back when her depression was real bad. Heh. Once it was just my younger sister and I, and we didn't have any food. My mom was sleeping, so we stole her pack of gum and ate it. Is it bad that I'm looking back on the days where the choice between electricity and food was an actual concern fondly?

They were much simpler back then. None of this hiding in a random motel in some random city waiting for whatever is coming next.

I'm also a bit worried about Sammie. I know it's probably nothing, but it would really suck if something happened to her. And Riv. Haven't heard from Riv in a while. She'd best be ok as well.

Oh well. Not much we can do about it right now, is there?

What's been going on?

Nothing all that interesting happened today. Stormy is worried about possible proxy attacks, but I haven't seen any. Of course, because she's all paranoid, I jumped about a mile high at some construction going on outside. In other news, I found this...

I think I've found Stormy a sign-off line. One that's not punny at all. VOLCANO BAKEMEAT! What do you all think?

Le sigh

It has been something of a difficult day. Nothing particularly dangerous, or awful. Just a crappy, crappy day. I think Stormy and I have run out of steam. Too much excitement to deal with all at once. Personally, I'm blaming Riv. Not that she really did anything, I'm just blaming her. Ah, what was I saying? Yeah. I'm tired. Well, more fatigued than tired. You know how it is. Ya'll stay strong and all. I'm going to try and get some more of that sleep stuff.

I am confused.

I don't understand what's going on anymore. I'm sure ya'll have seen Reach's new post, so I don't think I need to get into detail about why I'm confused. I just don't think I understand why he's talking that way. Well, I guess I can understand. I'm not smart. I get confused be even the simplest of concepts at times. I often find myself unable to complete basic tasks necessary for survival. So you know, curveballs like "There are no Revenants, we're all just insane." kinda throw me for a loop. I don't know what to think.

On one hand, I've personally never met one. I have no personal evidence for their existence one way or another. On the other, a lot of the others have. Supposedly. Why would they make up such powerful enemies if they didn't exist? I mean, well. I'm not sure what I mean.

Say, for the sake of argument, that Reach is right. I doubt anyone would maliciously, or purposefully make up the existence of Revenants. Unless the very idea was a plant from our enemies in order to make us fear them more. I suppose that could be possible. I mean, misconceptions like this have popped up a gazillion times throughout human history. Somehow, I don't know if the whole Revenants not being real thing is better or worse than the alternative.

Conversely, Reach could just be saying things in his grief over Ava. I'm not sure how or why that would work. I mean, which is more likely, all of us are wrong, or he is? Or maybe they've gotten to him some other way.

I just don't know. Maybe I should leave the theorizing to people who have a better handle on this sort of thing.

Owwie

Kay. I know this is entirely my fault and I probably shouldn't whine about it because I made my bed and now I have to lie in it, but being hung over sucks. And that run-on, it's a fantastic run-on. Best one I've written all year. Wouldn't you agree?

Anywho, I'm all myselfy again. Done being angsty. Now I'm hungry. My tummy is making the grumbly grumbly noises! I'm gonna go find something to eat.

Bad ideas.

First of all, thanks Ryuu, for that comment you left on my other post. I feel kinda bad, being all angsty like that. But thanks. For caring and all. I'm not sure how many people would have, you know before all this started. I mean, sure they would have mourned. Probably out of courtesy, but how many of them would really care? I don't know.

I don't know why I thought this was a good idea, but I've got rum. Rum and monster. Pretty sure my heart is going to explode. Sorry if this post degrades in quality over time. I'd offer Stormy some, but she's sleeping. Besides, she's underage. (But Echo. So are you. In fact, how did you get it? You're not old enough to buy alcohol.) Fuck you. That's how.\\

Pretty sure I'm drunk at this point. Did you know that when you drink rum and mountain dew it tastes like vanilla? and if you also mix rum with mountain dew it tastes an awful lot like vanilla icecrem. Best thing ever. And if you mix Kaos monster and soco as well, the aftertaste reminds me of maple syrup. My favoriteest thing. I'm really tired, only I can't sleep. I need to snuggle. I wonder if Stormy would be ok with that. Probably not. There is a light on, but I'm not entirely sure I can trust msyelf to walk all the way over ther to turn it off. My goodness, my spelling is just atrocious. Fixing it now. Ya'll won't see how terrible my drunk spelling is. I need a cigarette. This is awful.Only not, because effort and fuck that.

Thank you Ryuu. And Stormy. And everyone else who took a moment to give a shit. thank you. I'm ashamed to say I needed it.

Hands

Tight around my neck. Crushing the life out of me. I fight, I lose. Every time. I always lose.

But there are no hands. No overpowering assailant. No crushing. No dying.

Why not?

Wouldn't it be an acceptable alternative? To all of this? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Amelia had the right idea all along. Maybe I should be next.

I'm tired. This will all seem better after I get some sleep.

Tired

I am so tired. I don't know if I can remember the last time I got a decent night's sleep. Between my occasional bliss fits, the nightmares, and Stormy waking me up with her sleep talking and screaming in the middle of the night, I may never sleep well again. Quite frustrating, wouldn't you agree?

Ah well. Can sleep when I'm dead I suppose.

So, how bout that Japan? Terrible isn't it? Especially the assholes who are going on about how it's God's punishment for Pearl Harbor. What. Looks like somebody's forgotten about Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I've no money to donate at the moment, so I suppose the best I can do is keep it in my thoughts. Don't know how thinking about it will help, but lots of people keep telling me to do that. Guess they know what they're doing.

The third the eye movie is a black hole for joy.

Remember? Not too long ago I was all excited for no reason, and then I decided to watch The Eye Three? Remember that? Good fucking times.

I am no longer excited. That movie killed any joy I might have held. It was... so bad. There simply were no words to describe it. It was Star Wars Holiday Special bad. Hell, I think it may have been worse. I doubt I'll ever be able to experience anything akin to joy ever again. I'm going to try and sleep this off. See if that will help remind me what happy feels like.