6/30/11
6/29/11
Sleep? What's that?
Ugh. As much as I love having Sammy and the male one around, it does little for my peace of mind. After what happened with Stormy, well the less said about that the better. There hasn't been any overt movements lately. Even that mysterious stalky-gift-giving-guy hasn't been showing up. The air has been tense. At first I thought it was just cause the male one doesn't seem to like me, but it's more than that. I can feel it in my bones. Something very bad is about to happen.
Sammie mentioned he's been hanging around the windows. Guess I haven't been at the right windows, because I haven't seen him. Then again, I have been avoiding windows like the plague after the bubblegum incident. Heh.
I might be just a little worried.
Sammie mentioned he's been hanging around the windows. Guess I haven't been at the right windows, because I haven't seen him. Then again, I have been avoiding windows like the plague after the bubblegum incident. Heh.
I might be just a little worried.
6/23/11
Excite!
I am that! Can't sleep. Too excite! YAAAAAAAY! Gonna be a total zombie later, but that doesn't matter cause I'm excite now!
6/20/11
Respect
Alright. I used to mock my ex-girlfriend for going to cosmotology school. I mean, that shit can't be too hard right? Apparently I was wrong. So, so wrong. I apologize ex-girlfriend. Yours is a noble profession I have no talent for. Ah well. Hair grows back, I'll just wear a hat until then. Yeah...
Hahaha...ha
Nearly gave myself a heart attack just now. So, I was playing with some chewing gum just now. I blew a huge bubble, biggest I've made in a while. It was like, bigger than my face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the bubble's reflection in the window. The big, round white reflection in the window. It also happened to line up with a dark shape outside the window. My heart. Fucking. Stopped.
Of course, it turned out to be nothing. Anyway, minor stupidity induced scares aside, I am super excite! Why? Because. :3
Of course, it turned out to be nothing. Anyway, minor stupidity induced scares aside, I am super excite! Why? Because. :3
6/15/11
Graduation day
Today was my younger sister's graduation. I had to miss it for obvious reasons. The main one being the fact that I'm not in the state.
In addition to my younger sister, Amelia would have been graduating today. If not for all this. I know I can never make what happened to her right, and I couldn't help Stormy when she needed it. All in all, I'm fairly useless. But I suppose there's not much I can do about it now, is there? I'll just have to keep moving forward. Figuratively.
In addition to my younger sister, Amelia would have been graduating today. If not for all this. I know I can never make what happened to her right, and I couldn't help Stormy when she needed it. All in all, I'm fairly useless. But I suppose there's not much I can do about it now, is there? I'll just have to keep moving forward. Figuratively.
6/8/11
Hmph.
Welp. Today's the day. Two hours ago EST I turned twenty. I'm not telling you all this as a way to fish for birthday wishes. That kind of stuff doesn't matter to me.
You know, I never was one for birthday celebrations and the like. I always figured they were pointless. Big deal, I managed not to die for a whole nother year. Go me. After everything that's happened it actually seems like an accomplishment. So... go me.
I just guess what I'm trying to say is, for all the bad this shit brings it helps you appreciate the good a little more. Not that appreciating the good will do us much good in the end. Well, aren't I little miss sunshine today?
Get off my lawn.
You know, I never was one for birthday celebrations and the like. I always figured they were pointless. Big deal, I managed not to die for a whole nother year. Go me. After everything that's happened it actually seems like an accomplishment. So... go me.
I just guess what I'm trying to say is, for all the bad this shit brings it helps you appreciate the good a little more. Not that appreciating the good will do us much good in the end. Well, aren't I little miss sunshine today?
Get off my lawn.
6/4/11
Argh.
Alright, well for whatever reason it's not letting me comment on my own blog, so I guess I'll just have to do a real post because apparently my failures are really fucking interesting to you people. Jerks.
Anyway, here's how it is. Remember that secret admirer I mentioned? The one who was giving me flowers? Well, he/she/it never stopped. I've been trying to catch that motherfucker in the act for weeks now, but no dice. I don't understand how that shithead keeps getting by me. As far as I know I'm not losing time. And s/he/it knows things about me that nobody could. I mean, it's one thing to guess my favorite flower, but some of these gifts... It's just getting really out of hand. I haven't been able to catch so much as a glimpse of whoever's doing it either. It's really starting to tick me off.
Between that asshat and Stormy not coming out to play, I'm not having a very triumphant return.
You guys are better at this kind of thing than I am. Any ideas on how to make sure I'm not losing time without realizing it?
Anyway, here's how it is. Remember that secret admirer I mentioned? The one who was giving me flowers? Well, he/she/it never stopped. I've been trying to catch that motherfucker in the act for weeks now, but no dice. I don't understand how that shithead keeps getting by me. As far as I know I'm not losing time. And s/he/it knows things about me that nobody could. I mean, it's one thing to guess my favorite flower, but some of these gifts... It's just getting really out of hand. I haven't been able to catch so much as a glimpse of whoever's doing it either. It's really starting to tick me off.
Between that asshat and Stormy not coming out to play, I'm not having a very triumphant return.
You guys are better at this kind of thing than I am. Any ideas on how to make sure I'm not losing time without realizing it?
6/3/11
6/2/11
Can't sleep
I couldn't sleep at all last night. Only makes sense I suppose. I had random bouts of insomnia before this whole thing started. I'm sure that with everything going on it will only get worse. Anyway, I'm sorry if I worried you all. I figured it would be best to lay low for a while. You understand I'm sure.
To be honest, I was going to try and phase myself out of all this. I figure I pose almost no threat anymore. I can't run anymore. Honestly, I'm one of the more useless among us. I'm amazed I made it as long as I have. Anyway, posting here was something of a last resort for me. I figured if Stormy saw I was alive and kicking she might try and seek me out. Thus far no such luck. I'm going to try to be a little more aggressive.
So, this is where I make my proverbial stand. I'll be waiting. You know where to find me.
To be honest, I was going to try and phase myself out of all this. I figure I pose almost no threat anymore. I can't run anymore. Honestly, I'm one of the more useless among us. I'm amazed I made it as long as I have. Anyway, posting here was something of a last resort for me. I figured if Stormy saw I was alive and kicking she might try and seek me out. Thus far no such luck. I'm going to try to be a little more aggressive.
So, this is where I make my proverbial stand. I'll be waiting. You know where to find me.
5/31/11
And somehow I come crawling back.
Hey all. I'm back. Good to hear isn't it? I suppose you all deserve an explanation. I owe you all that much.
Well, remember when I said I would stick by Stormy to the end? She had other ideas about what that meant. Namely that the end would involve my death. I'll give her this, she did a number on me. It's blind luck alone that I didn't bleed out on the floor of the shitty motel room we had been staying in. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what happened. She got me while my back was turned. I suppose I should have seen that one coming, what with all the creepy tweets and stuff.
Now don't ya'll worry about me. I woke up in the hospital a few days after the incident. That was fun. I couldn't give them my real name for fear of them alerting my family. I don't want them to get involved in this if they don't have to be. Speaking of people I dragged into this, anyone heard from Riv lately? Anywho. I'm pretty sure the hospital people thought I was a prostitute or something. They can think what they want. It doesn't bother me at all. Ok, yes it does. It really, really does. But what can I do about it? Nothing. Damn.
So, I just want to be really fucking sure you guys understand this. I am not a prostitute. Are we all clear on this? Good.
Anywho, I was really stupid for a while. I thought, since the enemy thought I was dead I could just chill out for a little while. No need to get running straight away. As I said, that was stupid. There weren't any overt attacks, but I did start getting gifts. Azaleas to be exact. Now, there aren't many people who know that azaleas are my favorite. Back home just about everyone has an azalea bush outside their house. It's just the way it is, you know? I still don't know who was sending them, or why. I rolled on out of there quick as I could.
Now I'm holed up somewhere. I can't exactly tell you guys where. You understand I'm sure. Just know I'm alive, and more or less intact.
As for Stormy, I'm still looking for her. I'm beginning to lose hope on ever finding her. I don't know which direction she headed out in, and she had a pretty huge headstart on me. I'm not even sure if she's still alive anymore.
Well, remember when I said I would stick by Stormy to the end? She had other ideas about what that meant. Namely that the end would involve my death. I'll give her this, she did a number on me. It's blind luck alone that I didn't bleed out on the floor of the shitty motel room we had been staying in. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure what happened. She got me while my back was turned. I suppose I should have seen that one coming, what with all the creepy tweets and stuff.
Now don't ya'll worry about me. I woke up in the hospital a few days after the incident. That was fun. I couldn't give them my real name for fear of them alerting my family. I don't want them to get involved in this if they don't have to be. Speaking of people I dragged into this, anyone heard from Riv lately? Anywho. I'm pretty sure the hospital people thought I was a prostitute or something. They can think what they want. It doesn't bother me at all. Ok, yes it does. It really, really does. But what can I do about it? Nothing. Damn.
So, I just want to be really fucking sure you guys understand this. I am not a prostitute. Are we all clear on this? Good.
Anywho, I was really stupid for a while. I thought, since the enemy thought I was dead I could just chill out for a little while. No need to get running straight away. As I said, that was stupid. There weren't any overt attacks, but I did start getting gifts. Azaleas to be exact. Now, there aren't many people who know that azaleas are my favorite. Back home just about everyone has an azalea bush outside their house. It's just the way it is, you know? I still don't know who was sending them, or why. I rolled on out of there quick as I could.
Now I'm holed up somewhere. I can't exactly tell you guys where. You understand I'm sure. Just know I'm alive, and more or less intact.
As for Stormy, I'm still looking for her. I'm beginning to lose hope on ever finding her. I don't know which direction she headed out in, and she had a pretty huge headstart on me. I'm not even sure if she's still alive anymore.
4/14/11
Vow
Hey guys! Remember when I had even the slightest idea of what was going on? Me too. Good fucking times. For now, allow me to ignore all the nonsense going on with the other bloggers, I'm most worried about Stormy. At times she's Stormy. The girl we've come to know, and have at least some affection for. At other times, I don't know. The way she looks at me, it scares me. There's just this vitriol that wasn't there before. And with tweets like this
I'm honestly afraid. For her, but mostly for myself. I hate being that kind of person, but the instinct of self preservation is a strong one. I don't know what to do. Even so, even if whatever this thing is that's causing her to do these things hates me as I suspect, I won't abandon her. I may not be able to do anything to help, but I can at least stay with her.
echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo echo ECHOAnd this
@Echoofmyself wont let you be Chosen cant let you only one only one
I'm honestly afraid. For her, but mostly for myself. I hate being that kind of person, but the instinct of self preservation is a strong one. I don't know what to do. Even so, even if whatever this thing is that's causing her to do these things hates me as I suspect, I won't abandon her. I may not be able to do anything to help, but I can at least stay with her.
4/12/11
Everything seems to be just going to hell
And not like it's just kinda heading south, I mean driving eighty down the highway to hell with the roof down flipping off everyone headed in the opposite direction. Why don't we ever get breaks anymore? Remember when there would be lulls in the whole "everything going to shit" thing? I think this is a bad sign. Maybe things are going to be coming to a close soon. If that's the case, I don't think we're going to win.
Anyway, Stormy seems to be doing better. That's good. I dunno. She said she's feeling better, but then she puts creepy posts up on her twitter. I try to make it amusing for myself, but I'm seriously creeped out. This could be the paranoia talking, but I don't think whatever's making her do these things likes me very much. Oh, and Riv posted something weird again. I don't even care enough to try and crack that one. I'm just very tired.
Let's just hope things start looking up soon.
Anyway, Stormy seems to be doing better. That's good. I dunno. She said she's feeling better, but then she puts creepy posts up on her twitter. I try to make it amusing for myself, but I'm seriously creeped out. This could be the paranoia talking, but I don't think whatever's making her do these things likes me very much. Oh, and Riv posted something weird again. I don't even care enough to try and crack that one. I'm just very tired.
Let's just hope things start looking up soon.
4/9/11
Suppose I should say something...
Sure you guys have seen Stormy's post. I don't know what to tell you guys. I've been trying to collect my thoughts on the matter for days now. There's just nothing I can say. I'm doing what I can to keep her safe, but that's all I can do.
There's nothing I can do for her. I'm sorry.
There's nothing I can do for her. I'm sorry.
4/5/11
Stormy
I'm sure most of you have already seen her post. Maybe some of you are wondering about what I think. I'm concerned. Not fretting, but concerned. We can't afford for her to be such a snoozy mcsleepyhead.
Normally, it wouldn't matter. Well, as normal as it gets for people like us, I suppose. But today was different. I decided to take another trip to the store. It should have been a simple supply run. Should have been being the operative words. I ran into some trouble on my way back. Nothing serious, just the sort of trouble that made us have to leave in the right that second sense.
In other words I made a new friend. Or rather, I've become aware of us. I think it's been following us for a while now. I figure if we move quickly we can shake our new buddy. Wish us luck.
Normally, it wouldn't matter. Well, as normal as it gets for people like us, I suppose. But today was different. I decided to take another trip to the store. It should have been a simple supply run. Should have been being the operative words. I ran into some trouble on my way back. Nothing serious, just the sort of trouble that made us have to leave in the right that second sense.
In other words I made a new friend. Or rather, I've become aware of us. I think it's been following us for a while now. I figure if we move quickly we can shake our new buddy. Wish us luck.
4/2/11
INTERNET! WHY HAVE YOU BETRAYED ME?
I hate it when this happens! You're just goin along, mindin your own business, typing up the longest wall of text thing you've ever written. And then you try to submit it, and the internet says, "NO!" and it's all gone. That wonderful, beautiful thing that took you like three hours to write.
Yeah, fuck you too internet.
Additionally, Woolooloo! Woolooloo! ALL HAIL! KING OF THE LOSERS! WOOLOOLOO!
I miss that game. I was never very good, but I had fun.
WOOLOOLOO!
Yeah, fuck you too internet.
Additionally, Woolooloo! Woolooloo! ALL HAIL! KING OF THE LOSERS! WOOLOOLOO!
I miss that game. I was never very good, but I had fun.
WOOLOOLOO!
4/1/11
Hey, hey guys.
It's Friday. Do you know what that means? It means that
Ahahaha. I've been waiting all week for that. Thought we could all use the laugh.
Yeah, sorry. I can't sleep and I'm bored. Still, we could use the laugh. I know I needed it.
Ahahaha. I've been waiting all week for that. Thought we could all use the laugh.
Yeah, sorry. I can't sleep and I'm bored. Still, we could use the laugh. I know I needed it.
3/31/11
I'm bored. The highlight of the last few days has been when my nose randomly sprung a leak this afternoon. I have thus far, been unsuccessful in convincing Stormy that it is moving time. I'm pretty sure if I don't get out of this stupid room soon I'm going to pull a Jack Torrence. Shame on any of you who don't get that joke. Shame! Alright, all kidding aside, I actually do need to go stretch my legs for a bit. Stormy is sleeping, but I'm sure she won't die if I run out for a whole ten minutes.
Swear to [insert applicable deity] if I come back to Stormy's corpse I will be quite put out.
Swear to [insert applicable deity] if I come back to Stormy's corpse I will be quite put out.
3/26/11
Restless
It's this feeling that's been growing for a while now. I can feel it in my very bones now. Since I decided to huddle in a motel room with Stormy it's only gotten worse. Since the talk with Ryuu yesterday, well we've been concerned. For obvious reasons of course. I mean, well if you've seen her post I'm sure you know why. Leaving her on her own right now just seems like a bad idea.
Just need to get up and do something. Anything really. She's sleeping again. Honestly, how can anyone sleep so much? She reminds me of my mom back when her depression was real bad. Heh. Once it was just my younger sister and I, and we didn't have any food. My mom was sleeping, so we stole her pack of gum and ate it. Is it bad that I'm looking back on the days where the choice between electricity and food was an actual concern fondly?
They were much simpler back then. None of this hiding in a random motel in some random city waiting for whatever is coming next.
I'm also a bit worried about Sammie. I know it's probably nothing, but it would really suck if something happened to her. And Riv. Haven't heard from Riv in a while. She'd best be ok as well.
Oh well. Not much we can do about it right now, is there?
Just need to get up and do something. Anything really. She's sleeping again. Honestly, how can anyone sleep so much? She reminds me of my mom back when her depression was real bad. Heh. Once it was just my younger sister and I, and we didn't have any food. My mom was sleeping, so we stole her pack of gum and ate it. Is it bad that I'm looking back on the days where the choice between electricity and food was an actual concern fondly?
They were much simpler back then. None of this hiding in a random motel in some random city waiting for whatever is coming next.
I'm also a bit worried about Sammie. I know it's probably nothing, but it would really suck if something happened to her. And Riv. Haven't heard from Riv in a while. She'd best be ok as well.
Oh well. Not much we can do about it right now, is there?
3/24/11
What's been going on?
Nothing all that interesting happened today. Stormy is worried about possible proxy attacks, but I haven't seen any. Of course, because she's all paranoid, I jumped about a mile high at some construction going on outside. In other news, I found this...
I think I've found Stormy a sign-off line. One that's not punny at all. VOLCANO BAKEMEAT! What do you all think?
I think I've found Stormy a sign-off line. One that's not punny at all. VOLCANO BAKEMEAT! What do you all think?
3/21/11
Le sigh
It has been something of a difficult day. Nothing particularly dangerous, or awful. Just a crappy, crappy day. I think Stormy and I have run out of steam. Too much excitement to deal with all at once. Personally, I'm blaming Riv. Not that she really did anything, I'm just blaming her. Ah, what was I saying? Yeah. I'm tired. Well, more fatigued than tired. You know how it is. Ya'll stay strong and all. I'm going to try and get some more of that sleep stuff.
3/19/11
I am confused.
I don't understand what's going on anymore. I'm sure ya'll have seen Reach's new post, so I don't think I need to get into detail about why I'm confused. I just don't think I understand why he's talking that way. Well, I guess I can understand. I'm not smart. I get confused be even the simplest of concepts at times. I often find myself unable to complete basic tasks necessary for survival. So you know, curveballs like "There are no Revenants, we're all just insane." kinda throw me for a loop. I don't know what to think.
On one hand, I've personally never met one. I have no personal evidence for their existence one way or another. On the other, a lot of the others have. Supposedly. Why would they make up such powerful enemies if they didn't exist? I mean, well. I'm not sure what I mean.
Say, for the sake of argument, that Reach is right. I doubt anyone would maliciously, or purposefully make up the existence of Revenants. Unless the very idea was a plant from our enemies in order to make us fear them more. I suppose that could be possible. I mean, misconceptions like this have popped up a gazillion times throughout human history. Somehow, I don't know if the whole Revenants not being real thing is better or worse than the alternative.
Conversely, Reach could just be saying things in his grief over Ava. I'm not sure how or why that would work. I mean, which is more likely, all of us are wrong, or he is? Or maybe they've gotten to him some other way.
I just don't know. Maybe I should leave the theorizing to people who have a better handle on this sort of thing.
On one hand, I've personally never met one. I have no personal evidence for their existence one way or another. On the other, a lot of the others have. Supposedly. Why would they make up such powerful enemies if they didn't exist? I mean, well. I'm not sure what I mean.
Say, for the sake of argument, that Reach is right. I doubt anyone would maliciously, or purposefully make up the existence of Revenants. Unless the very idea was a plant from our enemies in order to make us fear them more. I suppose that could be possible. I mean, misconceptions like this have popped up a gazillion times throughout human history. Somehow, I don't know if the whole Revenants not being real thing is better or worse than the alternative.
Conversely, Reach could just be saying things in his grief over Ava. I'm not sure how or why that would work. I mean, which is more likely, all of us are wrong, or he is? Or maybe they've gotten to him some other way.
I just don't know. Maybe I should leave the theorizing to people who have a better handle on this sort of thing.
Owwie
Kay. I know this is entirely my fault and I probably shouldn't whine about it because I made my bed and now I have to lie in it, but being hung over sucks. And that run-on, it's a fantastic run-on. Best one I've written all year. Wouldn't you agree?
Anywho, I'm all myselfy again. Done being angsty. Now I'm hungry. My tummy is making the grumbly grumbly noises! I'm gonna go find something to eat.
Anywho, I'm all myselfy again. Done being angsty. Now I'm hungry. My tummy is making the grumbly grumbly noises! I'm gonna go find something to eat.
Bad ideas.
First of all, thanks Ryuu, for that comment you left on my other post. I feel kinda bad, being all angsty like that. But thanks. For caring and all. I'm not sure how many people would have, you know before all this started. I mean, sure they would have mourned. Probably out of courtesy, but how many of them would really care? I don't know.
I don't know why I thought this was a good idea, but I've got rum. Rum and monster. Pretty sure my heart is going to explode. Sorry if this post degrades in quality over time. I'd offer Stormy some, but she's sleeping. Besides, she's underage. (But Echo. So are you. In fact, how did you get it? You're not old enough to buy alcohol.) Fuck you. That's how.\\
Pretty sure I'm drunk at this point. Did you know that when you drink rum and mountain dew it tastes like vanilla? and if you also mix rum with mountain dew it tastes an awful lot like vanilla icecrem. Best thing ever. And if you mix Kaos monster and soco as well, the aftertaste reminds me of maple syrup. My favoriteest thing. I'm really tired, only I can't sleep. I need to snuggle. I wonder if Stormy would be ok with that. Probably not. There is a light on, but I'm not entirely sure I can trust msyelf to walk all the way over ther to turn it off. My goodness, my spelling is just atrocious. Fixing it now. Ya'll won't see how terrible my drunk spelling is. I need a cigarette. This is awful.Only not, because effort and fuck that.
Thank you Ryuu. And Stormy. And everyone else who took a moment to give a shit. thank you. I'm ashamed to say I needed it.
I don't know why I thought this was a good idea, but I've got rum. Rum and monster. Pretty sure my heart is going to explode. Sorry if this post degrades in quality over time. I'd offer Stormy some, but she's sleeping. Besides, she's underage. (But Echo. So are you. In fact, how did you get it? You're not old enough to buy alcohol.) Fuck you. That's how.\\
Pretty sure I'm drunk at this point. Did you know that when you drink rum and mountain dew it tastes like vanilla? and if you also mix rum with mountain dew it tastes an awful lot like vanilla icecrem. Best thing ever. And if you mix Kaos monster and soco as well, the aftertaste reminds me of maple syrup. My favoriteest thing. I'm really tired, only I can't sleep. I need to snuggle. I wonder if Stormy would be ok with that. Probably not. There is a light on, but I'm not entirely sure I can trust msyelf to walk all the way over ther to turn it off. My goodness, my spelling is just atrocious. Fixing it now. Ya'll won't see how terrible my drunk spelling is. I need a cigarette. This is awful.Only not, because effort and fuck that.
Thank you Ryuu. And Stormy. And everyone else who took a moment to give a shit. thank you. I'm ashamed to say I needed it.
3/18/11
Hands
Tight around my neck. Crushing the life out of me. I fight, I lose. Every time. I always lose.
But there are no hands. No overpowering assailant. No crushing. No dying.
Why not?
Wouldn't it be an acceptable alternative? To all of this? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Amelia had the right idea all along. Maybe I should be next.
I'm tired. This will all seem better after I get some sleep.
But there are no hands. No overpowering assailant. No crushing. No dying.
Why not?
I'm tired. This will all seem better after I get some sleep.
Tired
I am so tired. I don't know if I can remember the last time I got a decent night's sleep. Between my occasional bliss fits, the nightmares, and Stormy waking me up with her sleep talking and screaming in the middle of the night, I may never sleep well again. Quite frustrating, wouldn't you agree?
Ah well. Can sleep when I'm dead I suppose.
So, how bout that Japan? Terrible isn't it? Especially the assholes who are going on about how it's God's punishment for Pearl Harbor. What. Looks like somebody's forgotten about Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I've no money to donate at the moment, so I suppose the best I can do is keep it in my thoughts. Don't know how thinking about it will help, but lots of people keep telling me to do that. Guess they know what they're doing.
Ah well. Can sleep when I'm dead I suppose.
So, how bout that Japan? Terrible isn't it? Especially the assholes who are going on about how it's God's punishment for Pearl Harbor. What. Looks like somebody's forgotten about Hiroshima and Nagasaki. I've no money to donate at the moment, so I suppose the best I can do is keep it in my thoughts. Don't know how thinking about it will help, but lots of people keep telling me to do that. Guess they know what they're doing.
3/12/11
The third the eye movie is a black hole for joy.
Remember? Not too long ago I was all excited for no reason, and then I decided to watch The Eye Three? Remember that? Good fucking times.
I am no longer excited. That movie killed any joy I might have held. It was... so bad. There simply were no words to describe it. It was Star Wars Holiday Special bad. Hell, I think it may have been worse. I doubt I'll ever be able to experience anything akin to joy ever again. I'm going to try and sleep this off. See if that will help remind me what happy feels like.
I am no longer excited. That movie killed any joy I might have held. It was... so bad. There simply were no words to describe it. It was Star Wars Holiday Special bad. Hell, I think it may have been worse. I doubt I'll ever be able to experience anything akin to joy ever again. I'm going to try and sleep this off. See if that will help remind me what happy feels like.
Maniacal happiness fit
I seem to be having one.
I don't know why I'm so wired. I just feel like something really exciting is going on. This is illogical. There is literally nothing to be excited about. Everything is awful for everybody. And yet here I am, no longer allowed to jump on the bed in the cheap motel we're staying at because Stormy wants to sleep like a normal person. Sleep is for the weak! I've been bouncing around like some sort of hyperactive bunny who has been given a shit-ton of amphetamines. I don't even know if that's an apt phrase that describes things non-literally. Metaphor. That's the word I was looking for. Maybe analogy. Actually it's not a metaphor at all because I used the word 'like'. It's a simile. Simile looks a whole lot like smilie. Which is something I'm also doing. Being all smilie. Well, smily. I don't know why. Along with there being nothing to be excited about, there isn't anything to be happy about. Certainly no reason to smile.
I have a powerful craving for a cookie. I wonder if I've got any in my bag. My magical bag that contains everything! It's like a tardis! Only it's nothing like a tardis because it's not bigger on the inside and a bag and cannot travel through time and I'm not a Time Lord. UNLESS I AM! I'm not. Unless I am. Who knows? All I know is that my not-a-tardis bag doesn't have any cookies in it. Now I'm full of sadness. But I found some gum! That's like cookies, only not at all. Gum is also the French word for eraser. I'm chewing an eraser! Only it's not. Because it's gum. Language is fun. You know what else is fun? Jumping on the bed. If someone hadn't decided that it was time for sleeping, I would be doing that right now. Maybe I'll go for a run. Stormy's been doing well, and I doubt she'll go woolly on us if I step out for just a bit. It won't be too long. I've never been much good at running. Probably just around the block or so. Enough to burn off some of this energy. Or I could watch scary movies!
That's a bad idea. I shouldn't do that. I still might, if I don't find some way to amuse myself/pass out before the sun comes back up. Fuck you sun! How dare you wander off without any regard to those of us who still want to be awake and jump on beds. I should really sleep. Sleep is important. I should do more of that. But you shouldn't sleep with gum in your mouth. But I just started chewing this, and it would be wasteful to spit it out now. Decisions.
Did you know they made a third The Eye? Did you? I didn't Operation Scary Movie is go!
I don't know why I'm so wired. I just feel like something really exciting is going on. This is illogical. There is literally nothing to be excited about. Everything is awful for everybody. And yet here I am, no longer allowed to jump on the bed in the cheap motel we're staying at because Stormy wants to sleep like a normal person. Sleep is for the weak! I've been bouncing around like some sort of hyperactive bunny who has been given a shit-ton of amphetamines. I don't even know if that's an apt phrase that describes things non-literally. Metaphor. That's the word I was looking for. Maybe analogy. Actually it's not a metaphor at all because I used the word 'like'. It's a simile. Simile looks a whole lot like smilie. Which is something I'm also doing. Being all smilie. Well, smily. I don't know why. Along with there being nothing to be excited about, there isn't anything to be happy about. Certainly no reason to smile.
I have a powerful craving for a cookie. I wonder if I've got any in my bag. My magical bag that contains everything! It's like a tardis! Only it's nothing like a tardis because it's not bigger on the inside and a bag and cannot travel through time and I'm not a Time Lord. UNLESS I AM! I'm not. Unless I am. Who knows? All I know is that my not-a-tardis bag doesn't have any cookies in it. Now I'm full of sadness. But I found some gum! That's like cookies, only not at all. Gum is also the French word for eraser. I'm chewing an eraser! Only it's not. Because it's gum. Language is fun. You know what else is fun? Jumping on the bed. If someone hadn't decided that it was time for sleeping, I would be doing that right now. Maybe I'll go for a run. Stormy's been doing well, and I doubt she'll go woolly on us if I step out for just a bit. It won't be too long. I've never been much good at running. Probably just around the block or so. Enough to burn off some of this energy. Or I could watch scary movies!
That's a bad idea. I shouldn't do that. I still might, if I don't find some way to amuse myself/pass out before the sun comes back up. Fuck you sun! How dare you wander off without any regard to those of us who still want to be awake and jump on beds. I should really sleep. Sleep is important. I should do more of that. But you shouldn't sleep with gum in your mouth. But I just started chewing this, and it would be wasteful to spit it out now. Decisions.
Did you know they made a third The Eye? Did you? I didn't Operation Scary Movie is go!
Nothing to do with anything part two!
Ya'll won't believe what just happened. I blew my nose and a fucking pea came out. I don't even... How? How did it get up there? Did I eat anything with peas in it today? I don't recall. Why was there a fucking pea in my nose? Why didn't I notice the fact that there was a pea in my nose? Guys. There was a pea. In my nose. There was a pea, and it was in my nose. I may never get over this. Peas don't belong in noses. They belong in tummies. Or cleverly hidden underneath mashed potatoes.
Today has been a strange day. Between the obese pigeon and my nose suddenly developing the ability to spawn vegetables, I don't know what's going on anymore.
Today has been a strange day. Between the obese pigeon and my nose suddenly developing the ability to spawn vegetables, I don't know what's going on anymore.
3/11/11
Something that has nothing to do with anything
I saw the world's fattest pigeon today. I've never seen any wild animal that fat before. Thing was fucking obese. It was pretty funny looking. Well, I wanted to see if something that fat would fly, so I pretended I was a T-rex and chased it around a bit. It got about two feet into the air before landing. Stormy scolded me. Said I was going to give it a heart attack. I guess she wasn't impressed with my T-rex impression. I don't see why. My T-rex impression is awesome.
Raaaaaaaaawr.
Raaaaaaaaawr.
3/10/11
Hi!
I've been a bad little blogger haven't I? Unfortunately I can't give you any real information on how Stormy and I are doing. We're still together, we're on the move (hence the lack of posting. Well I've commented on a couple blogs, but that's different. Takes less time, and I do try to keep informed. After all, everything seems to happen at once around here.), we're still alive and safe...ish. She hasn't relapsed yet, I'm feeling hopeful.
In other, much more pathetic news, I'm seriously (not really) considering buying the new pokémon game at the expense of some necessities. Like maybe food. Fuck food. Pokémon. ... Yeah. I totally sound like an addict now. Gotta get my fix. Hah. Oh well.
Anyway. Just wanted to check in. You guys stay safe.
Oh, and Frap. Just so you know, the background to your blog is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen. Thanks ever so much for raping my childhood. Jerk.
In other, much more pathetic news, I'm seriously (not really) considering buying the new pokémon game at the expense of some necessities. Like maybe food. Fuck food. Pokémon. ... Yeah. I totally sound like an addict now. Gotta get my fix. Hah. Oh well.
Anyway. Just wanted to check in. You guys stay safe.
Oh, and Frap. Just so you know, the background to your blog is the most horrifying thing I have ever seen. Thanks ever so much for raping my childhood. Jerk.
3/5/11
♫♪♫Train train take us away ♪♫♪
Take us far away
Cookie to those who know where that's from.
As Stormy said, she and I had a discussion about her mental status, and how likely it was that she would lose it if we tried to leave. I've decided that the risk of staying is more significant than the risk of her losing it while we were moving.
I won't say where, too paranoid just now. I'll give ya'll more details when it is safe to do so.
Cookie to those who know where that's from.
As Stormy said, she and I had a discussion about her mental status, and how likely it was that she would lose it if we tried to leave. I've decided that the risk of staying is more significant than the risk of her losing it while we were moving.
I won't say where, too paranoid just now. I'll give ya'll more details when it is safe to do so.
3/3/11
Update
Now that I've gotten my narcissistic whining out of the way, I'm sure many most all of you are curious about Stormy. She's finally stopped her mumbling. He hasn't shown up since his last visit. I guess with Ava on the loose he's got bigger fish to fry. I haven't felt right leaving Stormy alone since it happened, so we've been holed up in the hotel room for the past few days. Haven't gone out to buy food, so we've been living on what I brought with me. Beef jerky, trail mix, peanut butter sandwiches and the like. It's been difficult to coax her to eat, but I've been making sure she ingests something. Although, the first few times she just threw it right back up. She's kept the sandwich I gave her an hour ago down. I guess that means she's getting better. As Smithy said, all I can do is keep her alive. She'll have to do the rest on her own.
Also, Riv isn't happy with my decision to leave her to her own devices. She can just cope, I've got more important things to deal with, and she was the dumb shit who got herself stuck in jail in the first place. I'm pretty sure it's her first offense. The judge should go pretty easy on her. She'll probably just get community service or something. I'm sure it will work out. Sorry Riv.
Also, Riv isn't happy with my decision to leave her to her own devices. She can just cope, I've got more important things to deal with, and she was the dumb shit who got herself stuck in jail in the first place. I'm pretty sure it's her first offense. The judge should go pretty easy on her. She'll probably just get community service or something. I'm sure it will work out. Sorry Riv.
Nightmares
I've been having them. Well, one recurring one. Every time I try to get some sleep I'm woken up by them. I've only gotten about three hours of sleep these past few days because of them. Between Stormy and the lack of sleep, I might just lose my mind. Hmph.
To understand the nightmares, I'll have to give you all a bit of background. I'm afraid I haven't been completely honest with you all, and for that I am sorry. I didn't just stumble into this. I didn't find some blogs and just decide to do what I can to help out. That isn't how it went down. I'm not that good of a person. Hell, if that were the case, I probably wouldn't have joined the rest of you at all. Just told myself that it was all an elaborate game. buried my head in the sand. Lived the rest of my life in peace. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I probably should have been more honest from the beginning. Better late than never I suppose.
A little over two and a half years ago (it'll be three in July) a friend of mine killed herself. I didn't understand why at the time. By all accounts she was a happy kid, if a bit odd. She hated forests, always looking over her shoulder. Oddest of all, she wouldn't let anyone look at her notebooks. Not even when I was helping her study for a test. She would always keep me from seeing what she had written. I just figured she had stories written there or something. I do the same thing, not let anyone read what I've written until I'm sure it's finished. Well, not so much anymore, but when I was her age. She was fourteen when she died. Just a kid. Fuck this is hard to talk about.
I did catch a glimpse of her notebook once. It looked fairly normal, history notes with assorted doodles. You know how it is, and I'm sure you can tell where I'm going with this. One of the doodles was an operator symbol. I didn't know it at the time. It seemed insignificant. I forgot about it.
Anyway, she didn't leave a note. No one knew why she did it. It ate at me. I researched it as best I could. Any reason why she might have done it. Of course, I wasn't very close with her family. It wasn't like I could just ask her family to let me examine her room for clues. I looked at her myspace, asked her closest friends, read psychological journals on the subject. I came up with interesting theories, but no definite answers. The only one who could tell me for sure had died.
Then I found Marble Hornets five months ago. I don't know if it's real or not, but it brought back memories. For instance, the operator symbol I mentioned earlier. It took me a while to connect the two, but when I did I started to look into these blogs. All the pieces were falling into place. The fear of trees, the sleeplessness, the paranoia. It made sense. That's when I made this blog. I said it was to help. So that there would be no more Amelias.
But that was a lie. Well, not exactly. I do want to help. I do want to keep anyone else from ending up like Amelia. But mostly I want revenge. I want to make the monster that drove a fourteen year old girl to suicide suffer for what he did. I want Him to pay. Any lives saved in the process will just be a nice bonus. If Robert is right killing Him will definitely end it. This has to end.
Anyway, now that you all know about Amelia you'll understand the nightmares. I've had a similar nightmare since the funeral. I walk into the funeral house, it's empty aside from her casket. As I approach it to pay my final respects, she wakes up. They paint the corpses you know? So it looks like they're just sleeping. I still see it sometimes, when I close my eyes. Amelia sleeping in that box. I look at her for a moment, tell her that I'm sorry. Then she wakes up and tells me that I'm next. Then the funeral home catches fire, the doors are locked and for some reason I can't smash the windows. I die in that fire.
Well, as of late there have been a few augmentations to that nightmare. Firstly, instead of the uneasy silence there's that fucking tapping noise. I don't look, but I know He's standing outside the window. Watching me. Amelia wakes up, and tells me that I should have left it alone. That she kept silent about it to keep anyone else from ending up like her. Then she tells me that I have a choice to make. To end it all like she did, or to be killed by Him and his minions. "Hunted down and killed like an animal" was her exact phrasing I believe. Then the fire, and then I wake up.
Every time.
I wish there were some way I could have helped her. There's nothing I could have done. Even now, there's nothing I can do. Is there? Nothing except for me to keep going. Keep running. Keep fighting. We'll end this. I promise you, Amelia.
To understand the nightmares, I'll have to give you all a bit of background. I'm afraid I haven't been completely honest with you all, and for that I am sorry. I didn't just stumble into this. I didn't find some blogs and just decide to do what I can to help out. That isn't how it went down. I'm not that good of a person. Hell, if that were the case, I probably wouldn't have joined the rest of you at all. Just told myself that it was all an elaborate game. buried my head in the sand. Lived the rest of my life in peace. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now. I probably should have been more honest from the beginning. Better late than never I suppose.
A little over two and a half years ago (it'll be three in July) a friend of mine killed herself. I didn't understand why at the time. By all accounts she was a happy kid, if a bit odd. She hated forests, always looking over her shoulder. Oddest of all, she wouldn't let anyone look at her notebooks. Not even when I was helping her study for a test. She would always keep me from seeing what she had written. I just figured she had stories written there or something. I do the same thing, not let anyone read what I've written until I'm sure it's finished. Well, not so much anymore, but when I was her age. She was fourteen when she died. Just a kid. Fuck this is hard to talk about.
I did catch a glimpse of her notebook once. It looked fairly normal, history notes with assorted doodles. You know how it is, and I'm sure you can tell where I'm going with this. One of the doodles was an operator symbol. I didn't know it at the time. It seemed insignificant. I forgot about it.
Anyway, she didn't leave a note. No one knew why she did it. It ate at me. I researched it as best I could. Any reason why she might have done it. Of course, I wasn't very close with her family. It wasn't like I could just ask her family to let me examine her room for clues. I looked at her myspace, asked her closest friends, read psychological journals on the subject. I came up with interesting theories, but no definite answers. The only one who could tell me for sure had died.
Then I found Marble Hornets five months ago. I don't know if it's real or not, but it brought back memories. For instance, the operator symbol I mentioned earlier. It took me a while to connect the two, but when I did I started to look into these blogs. All the pieces were falling into place. The fear of trees, the sleeplessness, the paranoia. It made sense. That's when I made this blog. I said it was to help. So that there would be no more Amelias.
But that was a lie. Well, not exactly. I do want to help. I do want to keep anyone else from ending up like Amelia. But mostly I want revenge. I want to make the monster that drove a fourteen year old girl to suicide suffer for what he did. I want Him to pay. Any lives saved in the process will just be a nice bonus. If Robert is right killing Him will definitely end it. This has to end.
Anyway, now that you all know about Amelia you'll understand the nightmares. I've had a similar nightmare since the funeral. I walk into the funeral house, it's empty aside from her casket. As I approach it to pay my final respects, she wakes up. They paint the corpses you know? So it looks like they're just sleeping. I still see it sometimes, when I close my eyes. Amelia sleeping in that box. I look at her for a moment, tell her that I'm sorry. Then she wakes up and tells me that I'm next. Then the funeral home catches fire, the doors are locked and for some reason I can't smash the windows. I die in that fire.
Well, as of late there have been a few augmentations to that nightmare. Firstly, instead of the uneasy silence there's that fucking tapping noise. I don't look, but I know He's standing outside the window. Watching me. Amelia wakes up, and tells me that I should have left it alone. That she kept silent about it to keep anyone else from ending up like her. Then she tells me that I have a choice to make. To end it all like she did, or to be killed by Him and his minions. "Hunted down and killed like an animal" was her exact phrasing I believe. Then the fire, and then I wake up.
Every time.
I wish there were some way I could have helped her. There's nothing I could have done. Even now, there's nothing I can do. Is there? Nothing except for me to keep going. Keep running. Keep fighting. We'll end this. I promise you, Amelia.
3/2/11
Keymash Keymash Keymash
Why is it everything always seems to happen at once?
To anyone who's interested, Stormy is... alive. That's about the best I can do. I've kept her wounds clean and bound. It's the best I can do for now. As for her mental state, well you've all seen her post. She's been talking about trees and the like all day. Not gonna lie, it's starting to creep me out. If anyone's got any ideas on how I can help her, I'm all ears. Heh. That's a funny saying. All ears.
I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep last night. Tap tap tap all fucking night long. And Stormy mumbling mumbling about the trees and echos, and seriously. Getting fucking creepy. We both got a couple points knocked off our SAN scores last night. I haven't cracked yet, but another night like that one... We have to move, but I don't know if I can move her yet. Anyway, I musta passed out at some point, because I don't remember Stormy borrowing Sir Lappington to post her riddley... whatsit. I do remember... a dream I guess. Could have been a visual hallucination. It couldn't have been real. Could it? I don't know anymore. I can't tell. Oh god...
Ava is back. Yaaaaaaaaay. Finally some good news. Of course, we'll have to be wary for the time being. It could be a trap of some kind. I really don't want it to be.
Last, but certainly not least Riv is in jail. Yeah. She called me last night, but I was mid-freak out and it went to voice mail. Long story short, she got pulled over for speeding and apparently you can do jail time for driving without a license in PA. Who knew? Anyway, I don't know what I'm going to do about that. It might be best to leave her in there until this thing with Stormy has blown over. I don't know. I need some fucking sleep.
To anyone who's interested, Stormy is... alive. That's about the best I can do. I've kept her wounds clean and bound. It's the best I can do for now. As for her mental state, well you've all seen her post. She's been talking about trees and the like all day. Not gonna lie, it's starting to creep me out. If anyone's got any ideas on how I can help her, I'm all ears. Heh. That's a funny saying. All ears.
I'm sorry. I couldn't sleep last night. Tap tap tap all fucking night long. And Stormy mumbling mumbling about the trees and echos, and seriously. Getting fucking creepy. We both got a couple points knocked off our SAN scores last night. I haven't cracked yet, but another night like that one... We have to move, but I don't know if I can move her yet. Anyway, I musta passed out at some point, because I don't remember Stormy borrowing Sir Lappington to post her riddley... whatsit. I do remember... a dream I guess. Could have been a visual hallucination. It couldn't have been real. Could it? I don't know anymore. I can't tell. Oh god...
Ava is back. Yaaaaaaaaay. Finally some good news. Of course, we'll have to be wary for the time being. It could be a trap of some kind. I really don't want it to be.
Last, but certainly not least Riv is in jail. Yeah. She called me last night, but I was mid-freak out and it went to voice mail. Long story short, she got pulled over for speeding and apparently you can do jail time for driving without a license in PA. Who knew? Anyway, I don't know what I'm going to do about that. It might be best to leave her in there until this thing with Stormy has blown over. I don't know. I need some fucking sleep.
I've found a new sound that will haunt my nightmares for-fucking-ever. the sound of tentacles gently tapping on a window. It's been like this since my last post. he's been standing outside the window. should have gotten a room on a higher floor. Stupid ECho. Stupid. I remember Ava used to close the blinds on Him, I thought it would help. It hasn't. That fucking noise. I don't even know if he's still there. It could just be me having another episode. I can't check. too scared. I'm sure you all understand.
Riv, DO NOT COME TO NEW YORK. You're safer where you are. Please, I'm sorry I got you into this. Just stay safe. Please stay safe.
Riv, DO NOT COME TO NEW YORK. You're safer where you are. Please, I'm sorry I got you into this. Just stay safe. Please stay safe.
3/1/11
Shit fuck fucking fuck fuck fuck.
Stormy's been hurt. I'm not a doctor. I have no idea how bad it is. There's blood, and bruising and more blood and she seems traumatized, and I don't know what to fucking do about it. The trauma, I have learned basic first aid. Of course, me and my dumbshit self didn't grab a first aid kit. First thing I'm picking up tomorrow. I've been using towels to stop the bleeding and such. Anyway, coherent. From the beginning.
So, here's how it went down. Stormy went out for a walk, as I'm sure ya'll know. So, the mythology bullshit has been annoying me for a few days now. I haven't found any decent information since I found that stupid rune. I'm thinking it could be a dead end. Anyone who feels like proving me wrong, please do. I'm done with it. Instead, I was looking up amusing pictures on that imgur site. I dunno how long it was, bout an hour give or take. Anyway, after a while I get this feeling that someone was standing outside the door. After the Proxy Incident I've started trusting that paranoid prickly feeling. I open to door to see Stormy, standin there all dazed like. Mublin about trees and shit. Honestly, I'm amazed she made it back to the hotel room. Way she was, didn't look like she was aware of anything at all.
Anyway, so she was wounded. Big ol' gashes on her arm and chest. Her other arm has a pretty nasty scrape, she's got some bruising. I've managed to stop the bleeding, but as I said I'm not a doctor. She may need stitches or something. Oh, that's going to be fun to take care of. Anyway, as of right now I cannot foresee getting her to a hospital or something similar right now. She's curled up in a corner mumbling about trees. Fuck.
Alright. I'll post again when I know what happened. Shit.
Stormy's been hurt. I'm not a doctor. I have no idea how bad it is. There's blood, and bruising and more blood and she seems traumatized, and I don't know what to fucking do about it. The trauma, I have learned basic first aid. Of course, me and my dumbshit self didn't grab a first aid kit. First thing I'm picking up tomorrow. I've been using towels to stop the bleeding and such. Anyway, coherent. From the beginning.
So, here's how it went down. Stormy went out for a walk, as I'm sure ya'll know. So, the mythology bullshit has been annoying me for a few days now. I haven't found any decent information since I found that stupid rune. I'm thinking it could be a dead end. Anyone who feels like proving me wrong, please do. I'm done with it. Instead, I was looking up amusing pictures on that imgur site. I dunno how long it was, bout an hour give or take. Anyway, after a while I get this feeling that someone was standing outside the door. After the Proxy Incident I've started trusting that paranoid prickly feeling. I open to door to see Stormy, standin there all dazed like. Mublin about trees and shit. Honestly, I'm amazed she made it back to the hotel room. Way she was, didn't look like she was aware of anything at all.
Anyway, so she was wounded. Big ol' gashes on her arm and chest. Her other arm has a pretty nasty scrape, she's got some bruising. I've managed to stop the bleeding, but as I said I'm not a doctor. She may need stitches or something. Oh, that's going to be fun to take care of. Anyway, as of right now I cannot foresee getting her to a hospital or something similar right now. She's curled up in a corner mumbling about trees. Fuck.
Alright. I'll post again when I know what happened. Shit.
2/25/11
Understanding
I don't understand people. I've spent my entire life being different. I was never able to fit into the perfect little box where I supposedly belonged, not like my sister. People often picked on me, but I never understood why. Well, I knew why. Knowing is not the same as understanding. I know many things. I understand very few of them. For example, I know that people often say the opposite of what they mean. I know the applications of such a tactic. I've used it many times myself. I just don't understand why people, myself included do it.
I don't know what brought that on. It's just been bugging me. Heh. I know that I'm bothered. I don't understand why.
Do you know what the worst part about it is? Nobody seems to know why things happen either. Maybe no one else understands either? I wonder.
I don't know what brought that on. It's just been bugging me. Heh. I know that I'm bothered. I don't understand why.
Do you know what the worst part about it is? Nobody seems to know why things happen either. Maybe no one else understands either? I wonder.
2/24/11
Interesting
Something Stormy said has been bothering me. That thing about Norse mythology she said. So, I went to a bookstore today. My original intent was to do further research on that Kuk thing Ava mentioned. I still haven't found anything too useful, but a nice girl at the store gave me a tip about the mythology changing along with the pharos. Looks like I'll have a lot more work cut out for me on that front.
Anyway, on a whim I picked up a book about Norse mythology, and opened it to the chapter about the runes. I've always loved Norse runes. Back when I went through my wiccan phase in high school I used to use them as a divination tool. Of course, that was a few years ago, I've forgotten most of their meanings and the like. I did bring them with me, figured they could prove useful. Anyway I noticed something. The rune Gar.
It might be just me, but it looks an awful lot like the operator symbol. It could be a coincidence. Gar has a few meanings. One of them is it being one of the symbols of Odin. I wonder if there's a connection. What do you guys think?
Also, didn't see our friends today. Somehow I find this more troubling than I did when they were around.
Anyway, on a whim I picked up a book about Norse mythology, and opened it to the chapter about the runes. I've always loved Norse runes. Back when I went through my wiccan phase in high school I used to use them as a divination tool. Of course, that was a few years ago, I've forgotten most of their meanings and the like. I did bring them with me, figured they could prove useful. Anyway I noticed something. The rune Gar.
It might be just me, but it looks an awful lot like the operator symbol. It could be a coincidence. Gar has a few meanings. One of them is it being one of the symbols of Odin. I wonder if there's a connection. What do you guys think?
Also, didn't see our friends today. Somehow I find this more troubling than I did when they were around.
2/23/11
New York
Now that I've managed to wrestle Lord Lappington the Second away from Stormy, I get to post on my own blog. Yaaaaaay. This has got to be my favorite city ever in the history of ever. Stormy's nice. I'm glad I managed to get to her in time. To be honest, I'm not sure what we're supposed to do now. Can't stay in one place for too long, too dangerous.
Speaking of, I noticed two guys. Possible proxies. I noticed them on the train back in... I forget. A few cities back. I was super tired, and ended up making up the difference in caffeine. Fucking train-a-thons. Anyway, so I notice these guys, hanging back. I could feel them watching me, but I thought nothing of it. I figure
So, I ignored them. Met up with Stormy. Had a pretty epic caffeine crash. I saw them earlier today, when I went out to get some breakfast. Lord Grumbles demanded a muffin tribute. They're definitely following us. I wonder what we're going to do about that. Violence I would imagine. Whatever. We'll deal with that when the time comes.
Speaking of, I noticed two guys. Possible proxies. I noticed them on the train back in... I forget. A few cities back. I was super tired, and ended up making up the difference in caffeine. Fucking train-a-thons. Anyway, so I notice these guys, hanging back. I could feel them watching me, but I thought nothing of it. I figure
Caffeine induced paranoia(Normal paranoia + Running paranoia) != Hyper sensitivity
So, I ignored them. Met up with Stormy. Had a pretty epic caffeine crash. I saw them earlier today, when I went out to get some breakfast. Lord Grumbles demanded a muffin tribute. They're definitely following us. I wonder what we're going to do about that. Violence I would imagine. Whatever. We'll deal with that when the time comes.
2/21/11
To those it may concern
So, last night I got into contact with Stormy. Ended up making plans to turn around and head to New York. Left last night, spent all day on a train. It's not so bad, I slept most of the way. With any luck I'll make it in time to meet her. I won't tell ya'll where. Don't really have time to make this a long one. Just found a place to kill time until the next train comes. Maybe I should grab some food while I wait. Apparently you need to do that eating thing every day. Who knew?
Also, guess where I wasn't today! COMP. Best day ever.
Also, guess where I wasn't today! COMP. Best day ever.
2/20/11
Holy Smokes
I've been gone what? A few days? I missed so much. This Delta guy, Ava's mom being alive, Inky...
Anyway, as I said I headed out to Seattle. I'm in big trouble at home. After I left, my mom called me. She was super mad, and I couldn't really explain why I left. What was I going to say? "Don't worry. I'm running off to Seattle to see if I can help fight a horrible child-eating monster." Hah. She'd find that very funny. No. She wouldn't ever believe me. Ah well. Not important. She was pissed, but it's better than her becoming like us.
Note, I can say us now. For better or worse. I saw Him. Yesterday. I was wandering around, trying to find a place with food and wifi, when I came across a playground. I love playgrounds. There were kids runnin' around, playin' and stuff. I guess they were all enjoying the first nice day in a while. I miss being that age sometimes. Playgrounds are the best. That and tag. Do you all remember tag? We should get together and play sometime. Tag is awesome. I digress. Well, one of them broke away from the others. This little boy, couldn't have been more than four. Reminded me of my baby cousin. Cute kid. Well, he wandered off, looked odd. Like he was in a daze. I was understandably puzzled. I mean, it had swings. I love swings. Sorry.
Right well, I couldn't figure out why until I saw Him. Standin' there, arms wide open like he was gonna give the kid a hug. Well, I ran over and grabbed the kid. Once I stopped him he seemed to come to his senses. Took one look at Slenderp and started sobbing. He ran back to his mother, she gave me this stink eye. Like I had done something wrong. That bitch. Anywho, He was not happy with me. Gave me a nice black eye, and I'm pretty sure I've got some sort of fracture in my skull. Definitely concussed. Luckily, he wandered off before he did too much damage. I wonder why. Maybe something distracted Him?
Well, if so. Thanks for the distraction, whoever needs to be thanked. I owe you a nice dinner. I've been doing my best to follow the rules. Stayin' up high. Keepin' on the move. All that jazz. Oh man. I'm so... hyper? Afraid? Hungry. Little hungry I suppose. Yeah. I could do with some food. I'll do that after I post this. And I'm rambling aren't I? I've spent about an hour trying to organize this post. Keep having to backspace and revise. I'm still shaking. I'm sure it'll pass. Timezone difference is strange. Like two hours earlier than my body thinks it is. Oh well. Whatever. Guess I'll keep ya'll posted. Hope I can keep ya'll posted.
Anyway, as I said I headed out to Seattle. I'm in big trouble at home. After I left, my mom called me. She was super mad, and I couldn't really explain why I left. What was I going to say? "Don't worry. I'm running off to Seattle to see if I can help fight a horrible child-eating monster." Hah. She'd find that very funny. No. She wouldn't ever believe me. Ah well. Not important. She was pissed, but it's better than her becoming like us.
Note, I can say us now. For better or worse. I saw Him. Yesterday. I was wandering around, trying to find a place with food and wifi, when I came across a playground. I love playgrounds. There were kids runnin' around, playin' and stuff. I guess they were all enjoying the first nice day in a while. I miss being that age sometimes. Playgrounds are the best. That and tag. Do you all remember tag? We should get together and play sometime. Tag is awesome. I digress. Well, one of them broke away from the others. This little boy, couldn't have been more than four. Reminded me of my baby cousin. Cute kid. Well, he wandered off, looked odd. Like he was in a daze. I was understandably puzzled. I mean, it had swings. I love swings. Sorry.
Right well, I couldn't figure out why until I saw Him. Standin' there, arms wide open like he was gonna give the kid a hug. Well, I ran over and grabbed the kid. Once I stopped him he seemed to come to his senses. Took one look at Slenderp and started sobbing. He ran back to his mother, she gave me this stink eye. Like I had done something wrong. That bitch. Anywho, He was not happy with me. Gave me a nice black eye, and I'm pretty sure I've got some sort of fracture in my skull. Definitely concussed. Luckily, he wandered off before he did too much damage. I wonder why. Maybe something distracted Him?
Well, if so. Thanks for the distraction, whoever needs to be thanked. I owe you a nice dinner. I've been doing my best to follow the rules. Stayin' up high. Keepin' on the move. All that jazz. Oh man. I'm so... hyper? Afraid? Hungry. Little hungry I suppose. Yeah. I could do with some food. I'll do that after I post this. And I'm rambling aren't I? I've spent about an hour trying to organize this post. Keep having to backspace and revise. I'm still shaking. I'm sure it'll pass. Timezone difference is strange. Like two hours earlier than my body thinks it is. Oh well. Whatever. Guess I'll keep ya'll posted. Hope I can keep ya'll posted.
2/15/11
Fuck all of this.
I'm in a foul mood.
Anyone who's reading this probably already knows about Sammie.
Shitshitshitshitshit. Not Sammie. I've had enough of all of this. Sitting by and watching. I joined this fight to fight, and thus far I've done nothing. (I say joined this fight, but all I've been is a cheerleader pretending I'm playing the game.) I don't know what I can do, but I can't idle my time away any longer. I've had a bag packed since I started this blog. Don't know where I'm going, but I'm leaving tonight. Seattle seems as good a destination as any. Maybe I'll be able to finally do some good.
Don't know how often I'll be able to post from here on out. Wish me luck guys.
Anyone who's reading this probably already knows about Sammie.
Shitshitshitshitshit. Not Sammie. I've had enough of all of this. Sitting by and watching. I joined this fight to fight, and thus far I've done nothing. (I say joined this fight, but all I've been is a cheerleader pretending I'm playing the game.) I don't know what I can do, but I can't idle my time away any longer. I've had a bag packed since I started this blog. Don't know where I'm going, but I'm leaving tonight. Seattle seems as good a destination as any. Maybe I'll be able to finally do some good.
Don't know how often I'll be able to post from here on out. Wish me luck guys.
2/14/11
V-Day
How's everyone's Single's Inadequacy Day going? I know Ava has her date with Redlight today. But what about the rest of you?
I myself am going to hang out with the rest of my pathetic single friends, because girls are stupid. Who needs them? Maybe I'll play some videogames, or even (Shock and awe!) do homework! I dunno. I ended up skipping my Composition for Functional Retards class today, because I didn't feel like being talked down to on top of Hallmark reminding me how sad my life is without a significant other to complete me. Don't mind me. I'm just a bit bitter about this whole thing.
Have a fun and stay safe guys.
I myself am going to hang out with the rest of my pathetic single friends, because girls are stupid. Who needs them? Maybe I'll play some videogames, or even (Shock and awe!) do homework! I dunno. I ended up skipping my Composition for Functional Retards class today, because I didn't feel like being talked down to on top of Hallmark reminding me how sad my life is without a significant other to complete me. Don't mind me. I'm just a bit bitter about this whole thing.
Have a fun and stay safe guys.
2/13/11
That reminds me.
Remember the nice guy? Well, since he's the nicest guy ever here's a link to his photo gallery. Be sure to give him lots of hits for me! Because he's super nice, unlike that stupid guy who called me boring.
Ou est l'autre pour cent?
In other news, I'm sore and tired. The nice man from yesterday gave me a cd of pictures he took. He is such a nice man. There's actually a pretty nice shot of me with a Dunkin Donuts cup on my head. Heh. Ah well, I'll probably finish looking at the pictures tonight. Maybe sometime tomorrow. Except I'm going out tomorrow. what's with all of this "having a life" nonsense? I'm sore and tired from carrying shit through the snow all day. Oh well. [/whine]
In other other news, new follower? Wow, ya'll are just comin out of the woodwork ain't ya?
2/12/11
Ah man.
I know, what with all the excitement and all my fairly mundane day isn't all that noteworthy, but I had the best and coldest day of my life!
So, my friend calls me up the other day and says, "Shit! Echo, we're down a cameraman! You took a film class, can you fill in?" so I says, "Hell yeah! When and where?" And so he gave me an address. What I didn't realize at the time was, we were not shooting inside the house. We were shooting in the woods behind the house. In the freezing cold. For eight hours. I did not dress warmly.
But, it was all good. A nice man gave me an extra shirt to wear, and his card. He says he'll pay me for lessons in Final Cut. Sigh. I don't know how much money it would take for me to willfully use that program again, but he was a nice old man and he did give me a new shirt. Seriously, he told me it's mine forever. How awesome is that? He also gave me his card, if I do well tomorrow and do a good job with the Final Cut thing I may even be able to make a steady job out of this. Wouldn't that be awesome?
Bad side is, I think I failed a spot check and got the boom in a shot. And by think, I mean know. I feel just awful about it too. The director is totally gonna be pissed tomorrow. Maybe I should call him and warn him. Might take a bit of the heat off.
Just did just that. He said he had another camera working a different angle and if worst came to worst he could just use that shot. Well, that's a load off my mind. And I remember that shot. We did it over like four times from eight different angles. If there was one shot I had to screw up on, I'm fairly glad it was that one. Also, he said he was impressed that I could remember that. How could I not, it was eating away at me.
All in all, a pretty good day. Tomorrow I'll be sure to bundle up, so I don't freeze to death out there. Heh.
So, my friend calls me up the other day and says, "Shit! Echo, we're down a cameraman! You took a film class, can you fill in?" so I says, "Hell yeah! When and where?" And so he gave me an address. What I didn't realize at the time was, we were not shooting inside the house. We were shooting in the woods behind the house. In the freezing cold. For eight hours. I did not dress warmly.
But, it was all good. A nice man gave me an extra shirt to wear, and his card. He says he'll pay me for lessons in Final Cut. Sigh. I don't know how much money it would take for me to willfully use that program again, but he was a nice old man and he did give me a new shirt. Seriously, he told me it's mine forever. How awesome is that? He also gave me his card, if I do well tomorrow and do a good job with the Final Cut thing I may even be able to make a steady job out of this. Wouldn't that be awesome?
Bad side is, I think I failed a spot check and got the boom in a shot. And by think, I mean know. I feel just awful about it too. The director is totally gonna be pissed tomorrow. Maybe I should call him and warn him. Might take a bit of the heat off.
Just did just that. He said he had another camera working a different angle and if worst came to worst he could just use that shot. Well, that's a load off my mind. And I remember that shot. We did it over like four times from eight different angles. If there was one shot I had to screw up on, I'm fairly glad it was that one. Also, he said he was impressed that I could remember that. How could I not, it was eating away at me.
All in all, a pretty good day. Tomorrow I'll be sure to bundle up, so I don't freeze to death out there. Heh.
I concede to the point.
Alright, so Robert managed to pull of his crazy scheme. I still maintain that it was rash and stupid and would have gotten both him and Reach killed if it weren't for his stupidly powerful dumb luck. However, that kind of luck seems to be kicking in just when we need it. Still, we can't count on it. Luck is fleeting and as likely as not to betray you when you need it most. Ah well, I did concede. I won't raise objections next time one of you slenderbloggers goes and does something stupid. There may be some gloating and I-told-you-so-ing however.
I know you don't read this, but way to go Robert.
Edit: Another follower? Yay. Hello there.
I know you don't read this, but way to go Robert.
Edit: Another follower? Yay. Hello there.
2/11/11
Oh my...
This whole Redlight business is getting out of hand. I wish there was something, anything I could do to help. I still think we should have been more prudent before voting like that. First rule of a hostage negotiation is to receive proof that the hostages are indeed alive and well. Oh well, no point in worrying about that. What's done is done.
I just hope he does let that woman go.
I just hope he does let that woman go.
2/10/11
A Letter to my College
Dear College,
I am very glad that I can attend you. You of allpeople things should understand how important a college degree is to succeeding in the real world. I am very grateful for the opportunity to better myself through the acquisition of knowledge and the life skills that will allow me to survive in the real world.
However, I have noticed an alarming trend. Don't take this the wrong way; I'm totally grateful for the opportunities you've given me. It's just, do I really need to learn how to use the library again? I mean, I am a college student now. I can understand teaching us how to use the school's library in Comp 110. It's a first year course, and many of the students who take it are new to the school and system. One would think that by the time I've reached Creative Writing II, I would understand how the system works. I mean, the prerequisites for that class are a C or better in both Comp 110 and Creative Writing I.
As for Comp 111, my goodness. That class doesn't seem to take us seriously at all does it? This is the third hour-and-a-half long class we've spent going over the syllabus. That's four and a half hours, wasted on a three page packet. Do you really think that we all made it through K-12, past your placement tests and through the various Comp classes before this one without learning how to read?
Do you really think I've gotten this far with only the vaguest of understandings of what a research paper is? This may come to a shock to you, but I've written research papers before. Longer papers than the "big final project" the professor has been yammering on about for the past three classes. Seriously, I've gotten more than enough practice writing research papers. I've even written some lit papers before, having had lit classes before this. I think I can handle your silly ten page paper.
You see, when I came to college, I expected to do college level work. Instead I've assigned work that is less difficult than the work I was doing in middle school. I've literally had eighth-grade classes harder than some of your courses. I understand that you're a community college, and that you have to pander to the lowest common denominator. However, if you can't take me and the work you're assigning me seriously I'll just have to go find another college that can.
-Echo
I am very glad that I can attend you. You of all
However, I have noticed an alarming trend. Don't take this the wrong way; I'm totally grateful for the opportunities you've given me. It's just, do I really need to learn how to use the library again? I mean, I am a college student now. I can understand teaching us how to use the school's library in Comp 110. It's a first year course, and many of the students who take it are new to the school and system. One would think that by the time I've reached Creative Writing II, I would understand how the system works. I mean, the prerequisites for that class are a C or better in both Comp 110 and Creative Writing I.
As for Comp 111, my goodness. That class doesn't seem to take us seriously at all does it? This is the third hour-and-a-half long class we've spent going over the syllabus. That's four and a half hours, wasted on a three page packet. Do you really think that we all made it through K-12, past your placement tests and through the various Comp classes before this one without learning how to read?
Do you really think I've gotten this far with only the vaguest of understandings of what a research paper is? This may come to a shock to you, but I've written research papers before. Longer papers than the "big final project" the professor has been yammering on about for the past three classes. Seriously, I've gotten more than enough practice writing research papers. I've even written some lit papers before, having had lit classes before this. I think I can handle your silly ten page paper.
You see, when I came to college, I expected to do college level work. Instead I've assigned work that is less difficult than the work I was doing in middle school. I've literally had eighth-grade classes harder than some of your courses. I understand that you're a community college, and that you have to pander to the lowest common denominator. However, if you can't take me and the work you're assigning me seriously I'll just have to go find another college that can.
-Echo
2/8/11
Bleh
You've met with a terrible fate haven't you?
Yes, yes I have. Another cold. Dammit. All winter I've been shambling from one cold to the next. And once the spring comes I get to look forward to allergies. [/whine]
In other news, there isn't really any other news. Oh! I'm making myself a pair of thigh-high socks, and that's about it. Maybe I'll post a picture when I'm all done.
Yes, yes I have. Another cold. Dammit. All winter I've been shambling from one cold to the next. And once the spring comes I get to look forward to allergies. [/whine]
In other news, there isn't really any other news. Oh! I'm making myself a pair of thigh-high socks, and that's about it. Maybe I'll post a picture when I'm all done.
2/6/11
Ben Drowned
Have you guys read that? The short of it is guy buys haunted Majora's Mask cartridge. Ghost fucks with him a bit, and then takes over the internet. Or something. It's better than it sounds.
Anyway, there's this one bit where he talks to BEN on Cleverbot. So, I of course went to play with Cleverbot myself. We exchanged catchphrases from the series until I ran out, and got bored. I exited out of the tab and went to do other things for a few hours. Also, just so you all know my beloved Legend of Legaia disk appears to be damaged. Saddest day ever. :'(
Anywho, I got bored with trying to force my LoL disk to let me play the stupid game and figured I should have a regular conversation with Cleverbot. It might be fun, I guess.
Well, apparently exiting the tab isn't enough to clear the chat history. I said, "Hello" and it replied with, "The counter resets.". I clicked out of the tab before remembering to take a screen shot, which is a shame. Photographic evidence could have made it funnier. Anyway, I had a mini-heart attack before realizing what had happened.
Heh. Anything like that happen to you guys?
Anyway, there's this one bit where he talks to BEN on Cleverbot. So, I of course went to play with Cleverbot myself. We exchanged catchphrases from the series until I ran out, and got bored. I exited out of the tab and went to do other things for a few hours. Also, just so you all know my beloved Legend of Legaia disk appears to be damaged. Saddest day ever. :'(
Anywho, I got bored with trying to force my LoL disk to let me play the stupid game and figured I should have a regular conversation with Cleverbot. It might be fun, I guess.
Well, apparently exiting the tab isn't enough to clear the chat history. I said, "Hello" and it replied with, "The counter resets.". I clicked out of the tab before remembering to take a screen shot, which is a shame. Photographic evidence could have made it funnier. Anyway, I had a mini-heart attack before realizing what had happened.
Heh. Anything like that happen to you guys?
2/5/11
Addiction
Hello.
My name is Echo, and I'm a video gameaholic.
I first realized I had a problem this morning, while playing an old game of mine. Legends of Legaia. Despite owning this game since 2003, I have yet to beat it. Part of it is, the game is fucking hard. The other part is that every time I get close something tragic happens to my memory card. To be fair, something tragic always seems to happen to my memory card. I just have really bad luck with those.
I digress. The incident that caused this epiphany was simple. I was level grinding, as one is wont to do if they anticipate ever beating the game. However, grinding gets rather dull after a while, so while controlling the game with one hand, I found interesting things to read on my computer, using sound to navigate the game. I realized that I was beginning to guess the attacks my characters were using, solely from the sounds the hits were making.
Now, in order to understand the full impact of that statement, I'm going to have to bore you with some gameplay details. Legends of Legaia's greatest strength is it's unique battle system. It's a turn based battle system, like a lot of RPGs. At the start of each combat round you input commands for each character to carry out. Should you select attack you're given a choice between Auto which randomly selects the attacks your character will carry out and Command where you choose the combo your characters will use. Each character is given his or her own bar, the size of the bar decided by the speed of each character. Noa, who has the highest speed has the longest attack bar, while Gala has the shortest. If you choose Command you're given the option of how you want to fill up your character's bar, High, Low, Left and Right. Certain combinations will result in special attacks.
So, after several hours of having my party run around in little circles, and holding down the X button whenever they found themselves in a battle I can now, with an alarmingly high degree of accuracy determine which special attack, if any, each character is using. By the sounds that they make. Not just the special attacks either. I can also tell the individual punches and kicks from each other.
I'm both proud and ashamed to admit that this is not the first time I've learned to play a video game using sound alone. That dubious honor goes to Pokémon Gold. Back in my childhood, when the backlit screens of the Gameboy SP were nothing more than a madman's dream my parents would often take me for long car rides. Many of them were at night. Of course, I was a nine year old, who could not spend copious amounts of time locked in a car without something to amuse myself. I was also a nine year old, in the midst of the Pokémon craze. I was determined to raise my pokémon, and was not about to let a little thing like not being able to see stop me. So, I did what any bizarrely determined nine year old would do. I learned to play without.
I do not know if I still have this wonderful and terrible ability. My Gameboy Color is lost somewhere, having been passed down to my youngest sister when I finally caved in and bought an SP. However, it seems to have transferred itself to Legends of Legaia for now.
Sadly, Gold was not the first game I had memorized. Just the first game I had confirmation I could play blind. No, that title goes to Ocarina of Time. I loved that game; to be honest that love bordered on obsession. I played through that game, more times than I care to know as a child. It got to the point where I simply could not play it anymore. The dialogue had been burned into my brain. Each temple and sidequest was so ingrained into my muscle memory I no longer had to pay attention while playing it. I could just auto-pilot my way through the game. It stopped being fun.
I was still young, and had yet to consider playing the game in any way other than the way it was intended. I didn't think to try and see how many ways I could exploit glitches, and speed runs were a foreign concept to me. I was unable to play that game for several years, before nostalgia took over and I was able to play through again.
And before that it was the original Mario Kart.
And before that it was Super Mario Bros and Duck Hunt.
And before that it was the Power Rangers game.
Hell, when I was still in diapers I was watching my parents play video games. Watching them play Super Mario Bros 3 gave me an irrational fear of fish. To be fair, at three years old children have trouble distinguishing reality from television. So, from my terrified three year old perspective, the little man was just running along minding his own business, when GIANT FUCKING FISH appeared out of nowhere and murdered him.
So, as you can see I've had this addiction my entire life.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have to get my party up to level thirty before I take on the next dungeon.
My name is Echo, and I'm a video gameaholic.
I first realized I had a problem this morning, while playing an old game of mine. Legends of Legaia. Despite owning this game since 2003, I have yet to beat it. Part of it is, the game is fucking hard. The other part is that every time I get close something tragic happens to my memory card. To be fair, something tragic always seems to happen to my memory card. I just have really bad luck with those.
I digress. The incident that caused this epiphany was simple. I was level grinding, as one is wont to do if they anticipate ever beating the game. However, grinding gets rather dull after a while, so while controlling the game with one hand, I found interesting things to read on my computer, using sound to navigate the game. I realized that I was beginning to guess the attacks my characters were using, solely from the sounds the hits were making.
Now, in order to understand the full impact of that statement, I'm going to have to bore you with some gameplay details. Legends of Legaia's greatest strength is it's unique battle system. It's a turn based battle system, like a lot of RPGs. At the start of each combat round you input commands for each character to carry out. Should you select attack you're given a choice between Auto which randomly selects the attacks your character will carry out and Command where you choose the combo your characters will use. Each character is given his or her own bar, the size of the bar decided by the speed of each character. Noa, who has the highest speed has the longest attack bar, while Gala has the shortest. If you choose Command you're given the option of how you want to fill up your character's bar, High, Low, Left and Right. Certain combinations will result in special attacks.
So, after several hours of having my party run around in little circles, and holding down the X button whenever they found themselves in a battle I can now, with an alarmingly high degree of accuracy determine which special attack, if any, each character is using. By the sounds that they make. Not just the special attacks either. I can also tell the individual punches and kicks from each other.
I'm both proud and ashamed to admit that this is not the first time I've learned to play a video game using sound alone. That dubious honor goes to Pokémon Gold. Back in my childhood, when the backlit screens of the Gameboy SP were nothing more than a madman's dream my parents would often take me for long car rides. Many of them were at night. Of course, I was a nine year old, who could not spend copious amounts of time locked in a car without something to amuse myself. I was also a nine year old, in the midst of the Pokémon craze. I was determined to raise my pokémon, and was not about to let a little thing like not being able to see stop me. So, I did what any bizarrely determined nine year old would do. I learned to play without.
I do not know if I still have this wonderful and terrible ability. My Gameboy Color is lost somewhere, having been passed down to my youngest sister when I finally caved in and bought an SP. However, it seems to have transferred itself to Legends of Legaia for now.
Sadly, Gold was not the first game I had memorized. Just the first game I had confirmation I could play blind. No, that title goes to Ocarina of Time. I loved that game; to be honest that love bordered on obsession. I played through that game, more times than I care to know as a child. It got to the point where I simply could not play it anymore. The dialogue had been burned into my brain. Each temple and sidequest was so ingrained into my muscle memory I no longer had to pay attention while playing it. I could just auto-pilot my way through the game. It stopped being fun.
I was still young, and had yet to consider playing the game in any way other than the way it was intended. I didn't think to try and see how many ways I could exploit glitches, and speed runs were a foreign concept to me. I was unable to play that game for several years, before nostalgia took over and I was able to play through again.
And before that it was the original Mario Kart.
And before that it was Super Mario Bros and Duck Hunt.
And before that it was the Power Rangers game.
Hell, when I was still in diapers I was watching my parents play video games. Watching them play Super Mario Bros 3 gave me an irrational fear of fish. To be fair, at three years old children have trouble distinguishing reality from television. So, from my terrified three year old perspective, the little man was just running along minding his own business, when GIANT FUCKING FISH appeared out of nowhere and murdered him.
So, as you can see I've had this addiction my entire life.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have to get my party up to level thirty before I take on the next dungeon.
2/3/11
And I'm feeling better again.
Finished panicking. I even got some sleep last night. Still have to do my creative writing work. Heh.
Guess I should get workin on that then. Most annoying bit is I have to work in notepad, because I don't have word on my laptop. Or maybe I could go find someone to mooch a computer with word off of for a few hours. Meh.
Guess I should get workin on that then. Most annoying bit is I have to work in notepad, because I don't have word on my laptop. Or maybe I could go find someone to mooch a computer with word off of for a few hours. Meh.
Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok. Ok.
Alright, so I'm really fucking freaked out right now. Remember how I said I would be making that doctor's appointment? Well, it hasn't come yet, and I'm beginning to wonder if I can distinguish between the noises my mind is unable to immediately identify and the ones it just pulls out of thin air.
I'm seeing things now. Not with my eyes, but with my mind. Does that make any sense? Like, I'm looking at the computer screen now, but in my mind's eye I can see
aterrifyingmonsterwithlargegnashingteethandshrivelledwrinkledskinthatwillneversitrightsilentlystalkingthesideofmybed
waiting
until the right time to strike.
Or a horde of twisted masses of flesh that once resembled humans where my dirty laundry used to be.
I know when I turn to look they won't be there. They aren't real you see, but I see them. I feel they're there, and maybe getting hopped up on caffeine to work on my creative writing project was an awful idea.
I want to go downstairs to smoke, it'll help me with my nerves. But I can't, every shadow movesdancesshifts
catch
the briefest of glances of what?
Monsters?
Regular human intruders?
Ninjas?
Him?
All of the above?
I don't know anymore. I'm not so sure I can trust myself.
There's something waiting for me on the other side of my bedroom door. No there's not, but yes there is.
...
...
...
Am I going insane?
2/2/11
Sometimes I wonder about that child...
My eight year old sister likes to draw monsters. Most of the time, they're really adorable. In that ugly cute sort of way. You know, very much like a pug.
But sometimes I think she takes after me a bit too much. Her most recent drawing is of a girl who's missing an eye. I'm very curious as to why my eight year old sister has drawn somebody who's obviously had an extremely violent past. Maybe she really likes pirates? Or maybe she's been sneaking peaks at my very-much-not-for-an-eight-year-old collection of movies and tv shows.
If she starts adding "sees me" and operator symbols to her drawings, I will be very worried. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. I'm going to have to keep my eye on her.
But sometimes I think she takes after me a bit too much. Her most recent drawing is of a girl who's missing an eye. I'm very curious as to why my eight year old sister has drawn somebody who's obviously had an extremely violent past. Maybe she really likes pirates? Or maybe she's been sneaking peaks at my very-much-not-for-an-eight-year-old collection of movies and tv shows.
If she starts adding "sees me" and operator symbols to her drawings, I will be very worried. Let's hope it doesn't come to that. I'm going to have to keep my eye on her.
It is a monumental day!
Stormy, Sammie I don't know if you two realize this, but it is Groundhog Day. An old Pennsylvanian tradition where a groundhog comes out of the ground. If it freaks out at the sight of it's own shadow, it is said that spring will come early this year.
He freaked out at his shadow!
The groundhog is almost never right, but as an icestorm took out my power (and thus my heat) this morning I'm just going to say this. Groundhog, if spring does not come early this year, next year you're going to be celebrating your holiday as my fucking hat. You got that?
Ah well. Stay safe you two.
He freaked out at his shadow!
The groundhog is almost never right, but as an icestorm took out my power (and thus my heat) this morning I'm just going to say this. Groundhog, if spring does not come early this year, next year you're going to be celebrating your holiday as my fucking hat. You got that?
Ah well. Stay safe you two.
2/1/11
Son of a bitch!
Boring? Boring!? How dare you call me boring Mr. I'll-call-you-on-Skype-with-no-warning-and-ramble-about-my-youtube-subscribers-pants. I was so not the boring one in that conversation. I was in the middle of important business when you randomly decided you wanted to talk to me and interrupt my movie and my pretending to be doing real things when I'm just making a hat so my ears don't freeze tomorrow.
You want boring? I will fucking show you boring!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IE3KdcTgrno
There! That's fucking boring, you boring piece of shit!
Stormy, Sammie ya'll can't click on that link because it'll get him views. And that is exactly what he wants! So don't do it. Because he's a meanie dummy face!
You want boring? I will fucking show you boring!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IE3KdcTgrno
There! That's fucking boring, you boring piece of shit!
Stormy, Sammie ya'll can't click on that link because it'll get him views. And that is exactly what he wants! So don't do it. Because he's a meanie dummy face!
Dammit...
Man. This was a great way to start the week. I wasn't able to go to class because of this massive migraine I've got. Eyes, the light is your friend; it helps you do your damn job. Stop going all painy because you're just making my head and stomach angry. Ears, that goes double for you. And enough with the sound of blood rushing through you. That got old forever ago.
Worst part of all of this is the screaming is back. Everyone is asleep, I know it's all in my head. I'll have to set up a doctor's appointment to get myself checked out tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to this. Best case, it's nothing and is just stress as I thought. Worst case, I've got a lifetime of medicine, ostracism and hallucinations ahead of me. Pills. I fucking hate taking medicine. And I bet it's expensive too.
Ah well. No point in worrying about it until I'm sure what's going on.
Worst part of all of this is the screaming is back. Everyone is asleep, I know it's all in my head. I'll have to set up a doctor's appointment to get myself checked out tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to this. Best case, it's nothing and is just stress as I thought. Worst case, I've got a lifetime of medicine, ostracism and hallucinations ahead of me. Pills. I fucking hate taking medicine. And I bet it's expensive too.
Ah well. No point in worrying about it until I'm sure what's going on.
1/31/11
So Tired
I don't even understand why I'm so tired. I've been sleeping all day, and it just doesn't feel like it's enough.
I've also been hearing things. Women screaming, things trying to get in. I'm sure I'm just stressed out. I have to have a chapter ready by Friday, and I haven't so much as opened notepad to work on it. Oh well, right now I'm starving. I'll take care of that, and worry about the rest later.
Hope you're all doing better than I am.
I've also been hearing things. Women screaming, things trying to get in. I'm sure I'm just stressed out. I have to have a chapter ready by Friday, and I haven't so much as opened notepad to work on it. Oh well, right now I'm starving. I'll take care of that, and worry about the rest later.
Hope you're all doing better than I am.
1/30/11
I think I made a mistake...
I was fucking around in the dashboard and said to myself, "Self check out that traffic thing. I wonder how many people have actually seen this." and it's more than I thought. Honestly, it makes me pretty nervous to know I was writing for more people than just Stormy.
Don't get me wrong. I created this blog so runners would know there's a friendly face in the Philadelphia area, but somehow people actually seeing it is making me a little nervous.
Interestingly, 15 of the people who have visited my blog are using Google Chrome, while 14 are using Firefox. Opera and Internet Explorer are tied at two. I'm not a big fan of Chrome, but it appears to be winning the race. Heh.
This, as always, is a useless post. Feel free to ignore me.
Don't get me wrong. I created this blog so runners would know there's a friendly face in the Philadelphia area, but somehow people actually seeing it is making me a little nervous.
Interestingly, 15 of the people who have visited my blog are using Google Chrome, while 14 are using Firefox. Opera and Internet Explorer are tied at two. I'm not a big fan of Chrome, but it appears to be winning the race. Heh.
This, as always, is a useless post. Feel free to ignore me.
ALRIGHT!
Now that I'm not a big bucket of angst, I've got shit to say!
My local Blockbuster is closing down. It's a shame, I had some good memories of that place. My dad used to take me there every now and again. We would pick up movies, one for my sister, my dad and myself. Then we would hit the pizza place next door and spend the night watching movies and eating junk food. This is like when that dollar theater closed down. It was such a sad time. I loved that place.
On the bright side, I got a few movies real cheap. I got Serenity, which I just finished watching. God, I love that movie. I was so crushed when Firefly was canceled. Now that I'm older, I like it for more than just Summer Glau being oddly attractive. That was before I came out, hell I don't think I even realized I was gay back then.
She is rather cute isn't she, Summer? The only reason I gave The Cape a shot. I don't have celebrity crushes. The concept confuses me. Why would you like someone who's payed to play pretend? How can you trust their honesty? You live on the opposite side of the country from these people guys. No I don't think Hayley Williams is hot. Who is Hayley Williams? I know I'm a bad lesbian. Step off.
Right, well Serenity is fantastic. I also got The Orphanage, a movie that never fails to make me weep. It's by the same guy who made Pan's Labyrinth. Now that I think on it, I've never seen that movie. Anyway, The Orphanage, if you get the chance watch it. It's beautiful and the ending is the saddest fucking thing ever.
Last movie I got was this movie I had never heard of. Marebito. I'm not sure if I'll like it. It looks like some Japanese horror. I like Japanese horror, so I suppose I can't go wrong. Anyway, it was only three bucks. When I watch it I'll type up some sort of review. You know, because It could be fun.
I also dropped by my local Borders (which seems to be going under as well) and picked up A Sweet Far Thing. It's the third in the Gemma Doyle Trilogy. I read the first two books a few years back, and haven't gotten around to reading the third. Heh. Actually, it's been long enough I might want to re-read the first two before proceeding.
Anyway, this is all trivial nonsense, but isn't it trivial nonsense that keeps us all going?
Stay safe guys.
Also, another person watching me? Hello there. :)
Also also, Is there anything Jackie Chan can't do? Of course not, because Chuck Norris^∞ * Bruce Lee + Bruce Campbell = Jackie Chan. Look it up.
My local Blockbuster is closing down. It's a shame, I had some good memories of that place. My dad used to take me there every now and again. We would pick up movies, one for my sister, my dad and myself. Then we would hit the pizza place next door and spend the night watching movies and eating junk food. This is like when that dollar theater closed down. It was such a sad time. I loved that place.
On the bright side, I got a few movies real cheap. I got Serenity, which I just finished watching. God, I love that movie. I was so crushed when Firefly was canceled. Now that I'm older, I like it for more than just Summer Glau being oddly attractive. That was before I came out, hell I don't think I even realized I was gay back then.
She is rather cute isn't she, Summer? The only reason I gave The Cape a shot. I don't have celebrity crushes. The concept confuses me. Why would you like someone who's payed to play pretend? How can you trust their honesty? You live on the opposite side of the country from these people guys. No I don't think Hayley Williams is hot. Who is Hayley Williams? I know I'm a bad lesbian. Step off.
Right, well Serenity is fantastic. I also got The Orphanage, a movie that never fails to make me weep. It's by the same guy who made Pan's Labyrinth. Now that I think on it, I've never seen that movie. Anyway, The Orphanage, if you get the chance watch it. It's beautiful and the ending is the saddest fucking thing ever.
Last movie I got was this movie I had never heard of. Marebito. I'm not sure if I'll like it. It looks like some Japanese horror. I like Japanese horror, so I suppose I can't go wrong. Anyway, it was only three bucks. When I watch it I'll type up some sort of review. You know, because It could be fun.
I also dropped by my local Borders (which seems to be going under as well) and picked up A Sweet Far Thing. It's the third in the Gemma Doyle Trilogy. I read the first two books a few years back, and haven't gotten around to reading the third. Heh. Actually, it's been long enough I might want to re-read the first two before proceeding.
Anyway, this is all trivial nonsense, but isn't it trivial nonsense that keeps us all going?
Stay safe guys.
Also, another person watching me? Hello there. :)
Also also, Is there anything Jackie Chan can't do? Of course not, because Chuck Norris^∞ * Bruce Lee + Bruce Campbell = Jackie Chan. Look it up.
1/29/11
Ugh...
Look, I'm feeling really awful right now. Just let me have my moment of whiny-ness, and I'll try to keep it off the blog from now on.
Without getting into too much detail, I'm super depressed tonight. Clinical Depression runs in my family, and every now and again it hits me like a truck. I've also got some mental scars from a couple incidents I don't feel like sharing. Anywho, the depression train hit me again tonight. I feel so awful about everything, especially now that I'm whining about my petty problems when my one follower is having far more pressing difficulties.
I hope you stay safe Stormy. I'm going to try to sleep off my angst.
Without getting into too much detail, I'm super depressed tonight. Clinical Depression runs in my family, and every now and again it hits me like a truck. I've also got some mental scars from a couple incidents I don't feel like sharing. Anywho, the depression train hit me again tonight. I feel so awful about everything, especially now that I'm whining about my petty problems when my one follower is having far more pressing difficulties.
I hope you stay safe Stormy. I'm going to try to sleep off my angst.
1/28/11
Cats and Dogs
So, in Creative Writing today we were given a prompt to write about the effects of "extreme weather". Fine by me. After cycling through a few ideas that were too depressing for even me to write about I settled on this. I'm not sure how coherent it is, I didn't sleep last night and the cold has made my dexterity a little less than what it could be. Heh.
Heart Palpitations Abound!
My alarm clock nearly gave me a heart attack just now. I thought I had shut it off. I didn't get any sleep at all, although it wasn't completely unexpected. My area just got hit with a fuckton of snow, as such my classes got canceled. Of course, I being the irresponsible fuckwit I am, decided to spend my time off staying up all night. One would think I would figure out the consequences of doing that after a while. Of course, what one thinks should happen, and what actually happens rarely if ever coincides.
Hey self! I don't know when you started jumping at every shadow, but you had best stop it. The vaguely white thing you see out of the corner of your eye is your hair lit up by the monitor. It always has been, and it always will be. That weird black-ish blob in the back yard? It's a chair. It's been there for fucking years, stop worrying about it. The shiny things in the garage window? Icicles. Chill the fuck out.
Maybe it's the lack of sleep making me paranoid. I'm fucking exhausted. Good thing I've still got a redbull left over. I know that shit is awful for you, but hell. It "gives me jet engines" as a friend of mine said. Tastes pretty terrible too. Kinda like smarties. Do you guys remember smarties? I always hated them growing up. I like the coffee flavored energy drinks best. Monster Java and the way-too-expensive Starbucks ones are the easiest to get. Sometimes I find the Coffee Rockstar ones. I fucking love Rockstar.
Ah, what was I saying? Right heart attacks. They happen. And stuff. I am so tired.
Hey self! I don't know when you started jumping at every shadow, but you had best stop it. The vaguely white thing you see out of the corner of your eye is your hair lit up by the monitor. It always has been, and it always will be. That weird black-ish blob in the back yard? It's a chair. It's been there for fucking years, stop worrying about it. The shiny things in the garage window? Icicles. Chill the fuck out.
Maybe it's the lack of sleep making me paranoid. I'm fucking exhausted. Good thing I've still got a redbull left over. I know that shit is awful for you, but hell. It "gives me jet engines" as a friend of mine said. Tastes pretty terrible too. Kinda like smarties. Do you guys remember smarties? I always hated them growing up. I like the coffee flavored energy drinks best. Monster Java and the way-too-expensive Starbucks ones are the easiest to get. Sometimes I find the Coffee Rockstar ones. I fucking love Rockstar.
Ah, what was I saying? Right heart attacks. They happen. And stuff. I am so tired.
Hello
I really suck at these introductory posts and the like.
I figure ya'll can call me Echo; it's a good a name as any. I didn't originally intend to start this blog, but it's late and I can't sleep so I figure what the hell? I'll probably post here a couple times and then forget about it anyway. I guess I should tell you guys a little about myself now?Um, well, I hate cheese. I really hate cheese. And mayonnaise. And milk. I do like ice cream, so I'm not a total freak. I guess.
None of that is really important. I'm a writer, of sorts. I dunno. Ugh. Someone's dog is barking pretty loud out there. I hope it's not mine. Ah well, it is rather late and I need to get up to go to class in about two hours. Here's to hoping I manage it.
I figure ya'll can call me Echo; it's a good a name as any. I didn't originally intend to start this blog, but it's late and I can't sleep so I figure what the hell? I'll probably post here a couple times and then forget about it anyway. I guess I should tell you guys a little about myself now?
None of that is really important. I'm a writer, of sorts. I dunno. Ugh. Someone's dog is barking pretty loud out there. I hope it's not mine. Ah well, it is rather late and I need to get up to go to class in about two hours. Here's to hoping I manage it.
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